Hi, I'm John Morrison and ...

Hi, I'm John Morrison and I like to squeeze things.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and you can bounce a quarter off my abs.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and one time I spent the night on a house boat with Joan Rivers.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and I drive a hybrid.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and I can bench press 400 pounds.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and if I had a nickel for everyone at WrestleMania better looking than me, I would have no nickels.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and this week, Snoop Dogg offered me $20,000 for my WrestleMania jacket... it wasn't nearly enough.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and this year I'm gonna be voting for both Clinton and Obama.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and I may look like Tarzan, but I definitely don't hit like Jane.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and once after a 15 minute conversation, I convinced Madonna to adopt an English accent.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and I don't like Canada... I don't like Maple Syrup, it reminds me of Canada.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and they considered casting me in that Iron Man movie, but changed their minds when they realised that I would destroy all the villains, and the movie would only last 15 minutes.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and if I was in charge of the war on terror, we would already have won, and gasoline would only cost 50 cents a gallon.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and I'm in the process of making a short surrealist autobiographical film about my rise to superstardom.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and I once found the meaning of life in a quarter while riding Big Thunder Mountain at Disneyland.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and I once spent six months in Nepal chanting with Zen Buddhist monks.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and I recently learned that marsupials are indigenous to Australia, the only continent in which they're found.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and one time I waited backstage at the Point Theatre in Dublin for three weeks just to give Michael Flatley the surprise beating of his lifetime.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and the 4th of July is this nation's birthday, which falls under the astrological sign of Cancer, the mother of the Zodiac... which follows that the United States is like the mother of the free world, which is why it's so important that in this country, we all drive hybrids to set a good example.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and last Thursday I went surfing naked, while most people would have been arrested for indecent exposure, I was awarded the key to the city of Manhattan Beach.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and I think so deep, I eat religion and crap out enlightenment.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and my passport photo looks amazing.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and the Catholic Church campaigned to have me omitted from the Bible because they were afraid I would outshine Jesus.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and People Magazine offered me $15m for pictures of myself as a baby, I passed... John Morrison is not for sale.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and last week, when I took my shirt off in Chino, California, the spontanious screaming from all the young ladies in the city registered as a 5.4 on the Richter Scale... the largest earthquake since Northridge... I was there at Northridge too, by the way... I was 12 years old.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and if they gave out Olympic gold medals for abdominals, I would have eight.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and this week I donated $2300 to Barack Obama... that's the maximum campaign contribution that can come from an individual.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and all of Jay-Z's 99 Problems are me.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and one time I beat Stephen Hawking at 44 straight games of Parcheesi... and if Carl Sagan was there, I'd have beaten him as well.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and one time I climbed Mount Everest just to enjoy a tasty diet soda... because I felt like it... you know with that elevation, Miz, you need to drink quickly because the low pressure decarbonises your soda more quickly than it would at sea level... it's a cool and refreshing brisk place to enjoy a tasty beverage, and I can do that, because I'm John Morrison.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and if God had two sons, I would be the better looking one.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and if there is ever a Hurricane Morrison, it would be so much more powerful than Ike and Katrina that it would have to evacuate the whole Southern seaboard.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and for six months, I thought Nancy Grace was a man... I really couldn't tell.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and one time I played a two hour game of Monopoly with Adam West. I won when he landed on Park Place after I'd built two hotels... it was a two hour game, he obviously passed Go.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and the reason Chuck Norris stopped making movies is that he was afraid I would show up to his set one day and expose his lack of skill to the world.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and I'm so tan, I could be the Pope.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and one time I convinced a jack rabbit to eat a ham on rye.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and the diamonds on my abs right now are worth enough money to deport each and every illegal alien from this city.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and recently a group of people spent $150,000 on wardrobe for me that I'm gonna return later... I'm just stating fact.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and the girls all want me because they all get hungry for Peanut Butter and Johnny.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and The Marine is the worst movie I've ever seen.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and recently President Elect Barack Obama asked me to become his new spiritual advisor... apparently his wife Michelle likes my aura.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and Emeril Lagasse recently called me to ask me how I baste my turkey at the Palace of Wisdom... that recipe is top secret.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and last night, Britney Spears called me to ask me to get her in shape for her comeback... I'm guessing a lot of Pilates.

Hi, I'm John Morrison and the only reason I allow churches to exist is because I don't want people praying at the Palace of Wisdom.

Quelle: WrestleCrap Forum